Which Way Now?

I feel like such a spoiled brat writing this, wondering which of life’s opportunities, those many don’t have, I should accept and which I should pass over. I guess I’m just a little nervous about finishing up in August and returning to a country with a very poor job market, and me with few skills. I may be a jack of all trades, but there’s not exactly a lot of call for that in a stable job with benefits. I’m sure I could find some off-again, on-again work off Craigslist, but I want the steady paycheck and the health insurance. That’s what life on the road has taught me… at least in terms of financial responsibility.

Also in question is when to leave Korea. My boss has offered me a 300,000 Won/month raise if I stay on for another year. I know he’d be open to me just renewing for a few months if I wanted to continue until December or something like that. It’s just too easy. On the one hand, I’m settled here, life is easy, and I’m pocketing plenty of cash. On the other, it’s not exactly challenging. You tend to follow the same pattern, living among expats: there’s fun to be had, but you talk about the same things over and over… I just don’t feel myself growing emotionally when I’m surrounded by 22-year-olds partying it up in Seoul.

I can’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I also can’t claim to feel confident about any “career” with a bachelor’s degree and the majority of my employment history in foreign countries. Maybe I’m just in a “glass is half empty” kind of funk. I’m just worried. I’m worried I’ll leave Korea, end up spending all my money in the states before I secure any employment, and wish I had stayed a little longer. I can’t leave, but I can’t stay here either.