There are days…

July 7, 2012

Lazy Dog

There are days in which I do things that defy common sense. I don’t know what it is exactly that brings these urges out. All I know is, when I was in Vegas and feeling particularly down that a friend bailed on me and I lost a few hundred at the tables, I didn’t do anything but watch TV in my hotel room. ANYTHING. No drinking, not even water. No food. No writing. No stimulation of any kind. I stayed up way too late, forgoing needed sleep. And the same day I felt like I still needed to go for a run… in Vegas… dehydrated… on a one-way stretch of road. Stupid, right? Of course, I eventually needed to eat and sleep, but what is it that brings out these urges to ignore basic health? Depression? I don’t feel particularly depressed, nor do these feelings persist.

Today is one of those days, or at least it’s shaping up to be as of this writing. I didn’t get as much sleep as I should have, I didn’t do my daily stretching routine, I barely ate anything, and now I’m trying to get back on track by going for a run in the Austin heat… dehydrated and drained. I haven’t showered, which isn’t the worst crime in the world. Nor have I written anything of substance with all the time in the world on my hands. It’s possible I’m just feeling a little low, with funds lacking and no one to talk to. I see so many expenses piling up in the future, and even with the knowledge I’m doing what I want to be doing, it’s a strain thinking of the alternatives: a life in which I wouldn’t have to be concerned about making enough to eat; a circle of friends in one place.

I’m writing this not to elicit sympathy or anything of the sort. I just need some kind of outlet. Hopefully there won’t be too many days like today.

One Response to There are days…

  1. Paul (@BlueKutsu) on July 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Well, hang in there. I can’t say I have experienced what you are feeling, but we all have our moods, if that is the right word. It’s good that you’re aware of it, at least. Part of what is so great about being human is that if you’re aware of self-destructive behaviors or habits, you can and should attempt to correct them. Being lazy and sedentary – that is something I have done quite often. But you should at least make an effort to drink some water, if not eat something… =)

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