My List

August 18, 2015

One of the things most likely to come up in a conversation with me, no matter the topic, is my list. My all-encompassing list of activities and destinations I have yet to experience. As a traveler, this list keeps getting bigger with each Internet search and knowledge of new adventures. I’ll give you a taste of what the long-term traveler still yearns of doing, in order of preference. Wine has loosened my tongue this evening.

Bucket List
“Bucket List” by Alexander Mueller

1. Be the first to step foot on Mars, and instead of saying something for the ages, quote Doctor Who.

2. Have sex with a Turkish supermodel while high on molly in a private first class cabin on one of Emirates’ A380s… after dinner and drinks, of course.

3. Run the original marathon in Greece in under three hours, followed by a week eating nothing but the richest foods on one of the beautiful isles.

4. See the aurora borealis in Iceland in March or September after a two-hour soak in the Blue Lagoon.

5. Stick out my metaphorical thumb at a dock on the west coast of the US or Hawaii and catch a ride to a random Pacific island.

6. Train with the Kenyans, and run alongside a cheetah (for two seconds, anyway).

7. Skydive in South Africa, so I can see two oceans. Simple enough.

8. Travel hack my way into a Saudi Arabian visa, and do something scandalous right under the mutawa‘s (religious police) nose to condemn their treatment of women.

9. Find several thousand dollars and book a two-week stay in the Maldives, going all out.

10. Visit Angkor Wat at sunrise.

11. Stop elephants from being tortured for tourists’ amusement in Thailand.

12. Recreate Felix Baumgartner’s dive into Earth’s atmosphere.

13. Sign up for a tour of North Korea through a Beijing agency. Pay the exorbitant fees and be aware I’m being watched. Despite this, risk everything by escaping my shadow and running over to Kim Jong Un to punch him right in the face. Not so much for the thrill, just the amusement of others watching how the state news will spin it: “The glorious leader generously absorbed the fist of one of the corrupt American spies this afternoon after donating his time to help children orphaned by the horrific economic plight in Seoul…”

14. Visit the Buddha’s birthplace in India.

15. At least make an attempt to reach the summit of Everest.

16. Take the Transsiberian from Vladivostok to Moscow with Chris Evans. Persuade him to recreate any scene from Snowpiercer on board.

17. Find out what’s in the deepest trenches of the Pacific, light and pressure be damned.

18. Eat some of that Italian maggot cheese, casu marzu. Cheese is cheese, after all.

19. Visit the ruins at Petra while wearing an Indiana Jones hat.

20. Find a dodo. Then eat it with a nice merlot.

One Response to My List

  1. Alex Müller on August 20, 2015 at 5:15 am

    Very nice list! I wish you good luck for every single tiem and I am honored that you used my photo for that 🙂

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