Letter to my Family

July 6, 2012

Protection

I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But I want you to understand your expression makes me feel bad and doubt my choice in lifestyle. Why are you so worried about my future? Do you want me to have the same quality of life you when you were my age, or better? What were you doing when you were thirty? Dating each other, working 8-5 or longer as programmers, saving for that house downpayment?

I just have different priorities. I’m not going to say I’ve thought everything out, and I’m definitely going to be happy if I keep following my current path, but I’ve changed and matured more in the last five years than I had in the five before that, and I would have hoped you’d have looked at that before considering a career I could just as easily change before finding my passion, a property that keeps me in debt for decades, a way of life more conducive to gluttony, sloth, and ignorance…

You’ve been supportive of my choices, but you don’t think I’ve noticed you subtly hinting at our meetings how this son of a friend got a job at Google, or how another is getting married? I don’t know these people or their children, so I can only conclude you want to shame me by presenting examples of what someone my age should be doing. Let me tell you: I notice, and it hurts. I’m not like most children of people you know. In fact, I doubt I’m like any of them. They’re satisfied with living in one place, working on job, taking trips when time allows, and that’s fine. I’m not.

I’m one of the few Americans who has a passport and knows how to use it! I learn more about protests in Thailand by spending time in the country as opposed to watching CNN from the comfort of an air-conditioned flat. I feel trapped working ten-hour days just to make money; I’m not saying money isn’t important, but until I discover what field is worthy (arrogant, but deservedly so) of my talent, I’m not going to destroy my health and sanity pushing papers and pressing buttons to build another’s fortune. I’m still a wanderer and proud of it.

One Response to Letter to my Family

  1. Michaela on July 7, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Hi

    I came across your blog and found this post close to my heart. I am considering a move in to EFL but at 27 I feel that I am going against the grain of what I should be doing and what others think I should be doing. My friends are getting in to serious relationships and competing for promotions, the though of which makes my blood run cold. I find it admirable that you do what you love doing, there are few people who do this for various reasons. Keep at it and hopefully I will be like you in TEFL world soon.

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